21 Sep 2011

It's Just All Black And White!!!

                                                     
                                                             My Baby Missy :)
                                           

ENVY?JEALOUSY?From Friend's To Family To People You Dont Even Know!!!

Have been thinking allot lately about Jealous people, weather it be your friend's, family or someone you don't even know, we see it every minute of the day. I have seen it quiet a lot over the past few weeks from someone i know and it has annoyed me but also inspired me to wright a blog about it. Now i will be fair we all get jealous at some stage in our lives, weather it be caused by friends a partner, someone in the work place or just a random person. But what happens when some people cannot control their envy/jealousy and it turns into rage and spirals out of control. I have came across people living two lives, writing or telling people completely different things that are far from the truth, lying to partner's, best friend's, and family just to make themselves look better, putting themselves into death to out do someone else. I think the worst i have witnessed so far is the person actually telling dangerous lies , making up very hurtful and heartbreaking stories to get sympathy because they feel their life sucks they are not where they want to be and they feel everyone else around them are doing better and moving on with their lives while they are stuck in a rut feeling jealous and sorry for themselves, all the while they could have been sorting themselves out, getting ahead with their own life, sorting their own mess and problems out instead of moaning about everything and everyone else who is doing good. For example '' oh she got a new job'' (Say's to friend in private)... '' we shall see how long that lasts I'm shocked she even managed to get one because she is so thick'' or '' how did she manage to get that role, when i should have got it, i am way better than her at what we do''  this is such a mean horrible and evil way to be. I think people who do not like to see others getting ahead in life will never get anywhere themselves, and do not deserve to get anywhere either.

So what exactly is jealousy and envy? They are both emotions!

Jealousy as they say consists of a combination of fear-based emotions such as anger, resentment, abandonment, rejection, grief, and disgust… just to name a few.

Envy is a state of discontent and resentment fueled by and linked with a desire for obtaining the possessions or qualities of another.

The shadow aspect of jealousy is that it can be so self-destructive or self-sabotaging when it creates behaviors that can drive away the relationship or object we most desire. When we dance in the emotions of anger, resentment, or rage over a perceived real or imagined abandonment, we can unwittingly push the person away. When we are preoccupied with how unfaithful we think others are to us, how they are ignoring us (when they actually could be just busy) or how they are trying to get one over on us ( when they could be just making themselves get somewhere) and honestly darling don't float your own boat too much not everything is about YOU , people who are doing such things are mostly just trying to better their own lives and make themselves a better person, so think about how you become distracted from your own emotional pain, just ask yourself why am i being so horrible and nasty to someone that is my friend, boyfriend,or sibling? Ask yourself why you are so self conscious and so worried all the time about being at the top of everyone else, of being the one who has it all, when you know yourself you are jealous / envious of this person because they have what you want or because u have an evil inside you and you don't like to see others doing better than you. Selfishness also plays a big part in jealousy.

At its worst, jealousy can lead to obsessive and delusional thinking, the more you incessantly chew on the same endless mind-chatter over and over, the less reality testing you are able to do. How could this not lead to huge errors in judgment, inferences and suspicions?
On the flip side, we often use jealousy as a test… starting with our earliest relationships. What is sibling rivalry about anyway? We often provoke it in our family or our partner to test the strength of our bond. Jealousy appears to measure our level of caring in a relationship.

So i basically think that if people want to hold onto their friends and family that they cop on , realise that not everything is about them and try to sort out their jealousy it is not good  for health and relationships , well being and for where you want to end up and what you want to achieve, start noticing that they have pushed people away with their selfishness and start asking themselves why are they jealous, what is missing, what can you do to fix it, because at the end of the day if you are not happy about yourself , your past or present, well you will find it hard to be happy for anyone else. So fix yourself before you bring others down with you, and never blame anything you done yourself on anyone else because the truth always comes out in the end!

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693

11 Sep 2011

Orb Or Not? Ghosts Or Not? You Decide!!!

A few year's ago i got very interested in photography and was taking picture's of anything and everything. To be honest they were not all that great but i used to like to mess around with lighting and different contrast's. So after a while i got bored and wondered what else would be interesting to take photo's of and as i was already very interested in the spiritual world i decided it would be fun for a group of us to head out when it's dark to a few grave yard's !! Then the fun really began when i started to catch abnormal and unusual things in some of the picture's and lucky for me my camera setting's were set to capture 2 pictures at a time. So here are 3 pictures which caught our attention, and i have to say i 100% believe there is something to them.

The first two picture's were taken exactly one after the other and you can see the very bright orb as plain as day in the second picture.



This picture was caught as i entered the same grave yard as the above picture's. You can see the very strange image's that are forming and that are transparent!


So from these picture's i believe that i have caught something paranormal here but i would appreciate your input on what you think. Hope you enjoyed looking at them :)

10 Sep 2011

Fear!

There is many types of fear, i am going to talk about Fear due to failure/what you want to achieve.

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger, if we couldn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are in no way life-or-death, and hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard. Yet if we expose ourselves to our personal demons it is the best way to move past them.But sometimes it can mean you have to take action now, sometimes you get the chance to do something about it then and there, because sometimes by the time the fear subsides, it will be too late, at that time you are not afraid of what you were planning to start/do/say, someone else will have already done it, it will already be said, done, or be irrelevant. The reason we are afraid is that there’s leverage here, something that MIGHT happen. Which is exactly what we are looking for.

 Many of us when we think of fear, we think of danger, if we feel any kind of fear that it must mean something bad is happening or about to happen and therefore try to avoid it. Those of us who live this way, feel fear immediately, stop, turn around, and run back to the cozy place we are used to, even though we might complain about it and say how much we want to change something, fear manages to get in the way.

Think about what you want to gain or achieve , and then think about what exactly is stopping you? Your friends? Your family? People disapproving? Success? Failure?  We can make as much excuses as we like but what it all boils down to is FEAR. The big roadblock.

Lack of motivation can get you stuck while contemplating how much your life sucks. If you don’t become clear on your motivation it can become hard to get going and knowing why you actually need to change. If you have a fear of failure, think of it in a different light you do not need to have a fear of failing because from every failure you are learning and getting stronger. It is similar to my last post here In the Present. You have got to keep yourself steadily in the now, in the present. Not letting your thoughts and emotions run away to the future or the past, thinking of all the things and situations that could go wrong it is just another fear roadblock.

Change will be hard if you deep down still think: I am this shy or negative or scared person. “That’s just who I am”, you tell yourself. “Always have been, always will be”. And that will be the truth for you as long as you think it’s the truth. If you are prepared and ready to change, you can however rewrite what you perceive as the truth about yourself and your personality, thoughts, actions and emotions.That is just my opinion on what fear is , but dont forget from every failure we were afraid of, we could have stood up shot ahead while dealing with our fear of failure even if we did fail we would have learned something about our fear and how to overcome it.

In The Present.

Some of the negative thoughts that we pay attention to are related to worrying about the future or resenting the past. Whenever you do any of these activities, you are not living in the present.I am a firm believer in positive thinking, i do not always do it myself , but i try, because i know positive thinking will always get you further , being negative just leaves you stuck ,confused and getting nowhere. It does not make sense to worry about the future, as we don’t ever live in the future. We live only in the present. Most of the things we fear don’t even happen. It does not make sense to resent the past either. The thing is, you cannot change the past. Why would you like to re-live and suffer something you cannot do anything about?

Still often our mind’s wander off  into the future. We worry and think about many things all at once – Potential problems and deadlines. We think about all the things that could go wrong or all the hassle we could receive trying to reach our goals. We convince ourselves how difficult something is going to be, well in advance of the actual event.

Or else our attention is drawn to the past, and like i said above, Why would you like to relive and suffer something you cannot do anything about, it is finished with it is called the past for a reason, but we usually find a way to imagine the worst even from the past, we worry about such things like, an argument we had last week or regret a mistake from a month ago, let it go and learn from it.
This mental activity is about things in the future that may or may not ever happen, and if they do, the anticipation of it is usually worse than the actual event, this kind of thinking is not helping. Or it’s about past activities that are over and done with, things that have actually happened, that we no longer have any control over, rethinking about these matters are holding you back, stopping you from moving forward and creating negativity.

Get out there, get in the present, do what you love and do it well, don’t worry about the future it will shape it self and if you pick up positive thinking your future will get better day by day :)

Poem By Buddha

Don’t chase after the past,Don’t seek the future;The past is gone,The future hasn’t come.But see clearly on the spot The object which is now,While finding and living in A still, unmoving state of mind.  

Gratitude.

I am sure you have all came across ungrateful people at more than one stage in your lives, but what about when it’s your best friend or a family member? When it becomes a habit, when they start taking you for granted, and when they start using you to get what they want. I have been once bitten twice shy with ungrateful people. Some people like myself have a giving good nature and when it is taken advantage of it is not nice. A simple thank you so much for your help, you have saved me a lot of bother would do nicely, or even a thank you. But for example with family members, certain family members think it is your duty as the bigger sister or whatever to help them out or bail them out of a situation no matter what the cost of it is, and then simply throw it back in your face once they have gotten what they want. Or what about those family members who think it does not matter what age they are they can still sponge off you or rely on you to help them out and come along and get themselves into that situation in the first place knowing very well what the outcome would be but still persisting to do so anyway, that is just selfishness and rudeness. I myself would be embarrassed for these people that do not know how to be appreciative , but as long as they keep getting what they want when they ask for it they will never learn any different.

When the shoe is on the other foot, and you need the favor or money , see how quick they are to come to your help, see will they be the ones to step up and say, I will help you out , u have helped me so much, that will not be the case at all they will hide. Now sometimes people don’t help others out because they think they will owe something in return and all i am saying here is a simple thank you would be nice, and to know if you ever had the same problem they would help you out. I think people are so ignorant when it comes to their own actions and how it makes others feel, if giving people out there, like myself stop being so helpful and giving, then maybe these ungrateful people would learn a lesson, it only takes a second to say thank you or to appreciate someone, before you are left with no one to turn to SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE!!!

The different Personality Types of men & what they have thought me.

  1. Mr Nice Romantic Guy (had to be the most annoying)  Now don’t get me wrong there can be nothing as nice as a charming man who treats his woman with respect and spoils her, but sometimes it is taken too far, here’s the low down. He’ll show up with flowers, leave little notes around your home/bedroom, rhyme off romantic quotes, talk softly and sweetly to you, bring you off to places that he thinks are romantic (bringing you to a cold beach in the rain on a January night is not classed as romantic) think old fashioned courtship, back in the day. So what can this type of man teach you… This affectionate man will show you the softer side within them, all the while raising your expectations of how you should be treated, but most of the time these men are in love with the idea of love. They will come on strong, telling you within a few weeks sometimes even sooner that they are in love with you and want to start a future together, give you expectations, but loose momentum in the long haul as the reality of the relationship sets in, he becomes lazy, you become bored, he starts to make excuses and you start to think that you are the problem. The best thing iv found from experience with this type of man is to keep a level head, while he floats around you in his own little bubble. Don’t fall for it and if you love this type of man, make sure that he is in it for the long haul so you are not wasting your time.
  2.  The Seducer  Ah we all know a few, he will have his way with you your friend their friends and so on. He is sensual and sexy and makes you feel the same, knows all the right things to say at the right times and knows how to push all the right buttons. The seducers are all about women they understand women completely. Seducers are mostly submissive, they will do everything and anything to please you and get you into bed. He will have a game plan right from the start. It usually goes like this, he get’s your contact information gets to know you becomes friendly within a day he is straight in dropping hints and being charming, he will flatter you and make you feel so good about yourself, and then just start talking really dirty , even if you were a good girl and not usually vulgar and maybe you were shy , well with the seducer it will all fade away into the background, he will make you feel confident and sexy and you just let it all out and let yourself be seduced , because lets face it who doesn’t like to be seduced. The flip side is as soon as he gets what he wants he’s gone, yes he will keep in contact with you as a friend purely because he might get the itch some night and if there is none of his other contacts around he will come knocking filling you with information on how busy he has been and how good it is to see you again. Seducer’s are very good at what they do, but they do not like when the tables are turned on them and the woman becomes the seducer and the one that is calling all the shots. Turning a seducer down kills his ego makes him want you more and he will want to know why you do not want to see him and think you have a better offer.
  3. The Regular Guy The regular guy’s in the world don’t get enough credit, they are very rare and hard to find, but when you do find him grab him with both hands and don’t let go. He is down to earth, stable, loyal, loving, works hard run the house watch allot of TV and play a lot of Xbox or Playstation games. He will start out being fun, adventurous and outgoing when he is younger but they usually settle into a more stable boring life as they get older. The regular guy will in most cases start out in control of the relationship but in almost every case the woman usually takes control after a while. Usually what happens then is the woman starts nagging telling him what to do ect eventually driving him away and is back to square one again herself.
  4. The Ass Kissing Guy Well i have came across quiet a lot of these and yes i am only 25, I’ve seen some of my friends men (the ass kissers) in action for quiet a while. These men will give you whatever you want no matter what it is,you ask them to jump they will say how high, i bet a lot of you are thinking oh yes this is what i want and might think it would be so great, well i can tell you it is not great looking from the outside looking in. It is pathetic , they are men not wimps or at least they are suppose to be men, it is also not fair to the man, he wants to be manly and you have him Whipped!! These types of men will follow you around saying yes dear no problem dear would you like me to do anything else for you dear while you sit back on your ass getting fatter and fatter, taking advantage of the soft guy is sad, you might as well become a lesbian, if you are that desperate to control everything and act like the man yourself , go out and find yourself a woman who likes to be dominated.
  5. The Bad Boy ( My Favorite) He is interesting fun random dangerous and thrilling to be around. These Guy’s are usually tough, dress tough, and act tough as often as possible. They drink smoke get tattoos ride bikes and generally demonstrate in every way possible that they are from the wrong side of the tracks, your mother would not approve. There is an addictive emotional rush being with or around these guy’s that could do anything. It’s the treat em mean keep em kean kind of attitude and personally i like the trill of the chase i don’t want anything that’s so easy to get, it is the dominant figure that draws you in. The downfall for the bad boy is he is not and never will be marriage material you will never tame a bad boy, and if you are looking for trust and loyalty it is not the way to go.
  6. The funny great sense of humor guy This is also another big favorite of mine, with the funny guy it does not matter how he looks, as long as he is some way decent you will go for it. They have that cute charm about them they are trying to impress you but are not over doing it  or being too full on, they are witty and cute. Women laugh with a sense of attraction to them, they will charm you with their humor and make you think they are fun to be around, which is true that they are. Funny guy’s can be similar to the regular guy, so you are getting the best of both worlds but the plus side is with the funny guy he is not going to get lazy of boring.
  7. The Married Man 100% no go area !!!! seriously i have been there and done that and wished i did not , Were to start, first of all they will do everything that the romantic guy does everything is fun with a trill of being caught , until you are caught! That’s when the true colors show, he will have to start leaving early tell you he is finished with his wife and that he loves you so much, fill your head with a lot of bullshit for as long as he can get away with it , constantly lie, constantly being paranoid, constantly sneaking around, swearing to you that you will be together properly soon. The major disadvantages are.. his wife, his lies, no trust, no future, if he done it with you he could or maybe would do it again, he has more than likely done it before, he is an experienced liar and will try to convince you and anyone else about anything he pleases, he has no respect for you or for himself, he will waste your time when you could actually be out finding Mr right, you will lie a lot because of him , you are constantly paranoid trying to hide the truth, your friends are effected your family is effected. If you are going to still go down this road make sure and remember they are used to lying they are experts at it, they will tell you anything to have you as their bit on the side, they will promise you the sun moon and stars and i can guarantee you it will never happen and they have NO intention on making it happen or to even try to make it happen, save yourself the hassle anything but the married guy.
That’s it for the moment if i come across anymore i will add to this, hope you enjoyed reading please comment or feel free to contact :)

The Unreal.

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it’s only intangible idea’s,concept’s,believes,fantasies,that last. Stone crumbles, Wood rots, People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That’s the only lasting thing you can create.