21 Sep 2011

ENVY?JEALOUSY?From Friend's To Family To People You Dont Even Know!!!

Have been thinking allot lately about Jealous people, weather it be your friend's, family or someone you don't even know, we see it every minute of the day. I have seen it quiet a lot over the past few weeks from someone i know and it has annoyed me but also inspired me to wright a blog about it. Now i will be fair we all get jealous at some stage in our lives, weather it be caused by friends a partner, someone in the work place or just a random person. But what happens when some people cannot control their envy/jealousy and it turns into rage and spirals out of control. I have came across people living two lives, writing or telling people completely different things that are far from the truth, lying to partner's, best friend's, and family just to make themselves look better, putting themselves into death to out do someone else. I think the worst i have witnessed so far is the person actually telling dangerous lies , making up very hurtful and heartbreaking stories to get sympathy because they feel their life sucks they are not where they want to be and they feel everyone else around them are doing better and moving on with their lives while they are stuck in a rut feeling jealous and sorry for themselves, all the while they could have been sorting themselves out, getting ahead with their own life, sorting their own mess and problems out instead of moaning about everything and everyone else who is doing good. For example '' oh she got a new job'' (Say's to friend in private)... '' we shall see how long that lasts I'm shocked she even managed to get one because she is so thick'' or '' how did she manage to get that role, when i should have got it, i am way better than her at what we do''  this is such a mean horrible and evil way to be. I think people who do not like to see others getting ahead in life will never get anywhere themselves, and do not deserve to get anywhere either.

So what exactly is jealousy and envy? They are both emotions!

Jealousy as they say consists of a combination of fear-based emotions such as anger, resentment, abandonment, rejection, grief, and disgust… just to name a few.

Envy is a state of discontent and resentment fueled by and linked with a desire for obtaining the possessions or qualities of another.

The shadow aspect of jealousy is that it can be so self-destructive or self-sabotaging when it creates behaviors that can drive away the relationship or object we most desire. When we dance in the emotions of anger, resentment, or rage over a perceived real or imagined abandonment, we can unwittingly push the person away. When we are preoccupied with how unfaithful we think others are to us, how they are ignoring us (when they actually could be just busy) or how they are trying to get one over on us ( when they could be just making themselves get somewhere) and honestly darling don't float your own boat too much not everything is about YOU , people who are doing such things are mostly just trying to better their own lives and make themselves a better person, so think about how you become distracted from your own emotional pain, just ask yourself why am i being so horrible and nasty to someone that is my friend, boyfriend,or sibling? Ask yourself why you are so self conscious and so worried all the time about being at the top of everyone else, of being the one who has it all, when you know yourself you are jealous / envious of this person because they have what you want or because u have an evil inside you and you don't like to see others doing better than you. Selfishness also plays a big part in jealousy.

At its worst, jealousy can lead to obsessive and delusional thinking, the more you incessantly chew on the same endless mind-chatter over and over, the less reality testing you are able to do. How could this not lead to huge errors in judgment, inferences and suspicions?
On the flip side, we often use jealousy as a test… starting with our earliest relationships. What is sibling rivalry about anyway? We often provoke it in our family or our partner to test the strength of our bond. Jealousy appears to measure our level of caring in a relationship.

So i basically think that if people want to hold onto their friends and family that they cop on , realise that not everything is about them and try to sort out their jealousy it is not good  for health and relationships , well being and for where you want to end up and what you want to achieve, start noticing that they have pushed people away with their selfishness and start asking themselves why are they jealous, what is missing, what can you do to fix it, because at the end of the day if you are not happy about yourself , your past or present, well you will find it hard to be happy for anyone else. So fix yourself before you bring others down with you, and never blame anything you done yourself on anyone else because the truth always comes out in the end!

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693